chaka chaka

to the fucker WPV 9363 in his nissan x-trail who tailed/flashed/honked me while i was doing fucking 95mph kmh on the highway with another vehicle less than a car’s length in front of me, i hope you enjoyed the finger because that’s going to be the closest thing your syphilis, herpes, hepatitis, scabies, gonorrhea, MONO-ridden self will ever get to another sexual encounter.

may your jeans always be too tight at the ankles but loose at the waist.

may you one day miraculously awake with the most acute sense of smell known to humankind and in turn be afflicted by a million body odour-wafting pits.

may your mother always be regaling the most embarrassing childhood moments to your colleagues and superiors (and potential mates, as if, you loser!) like that time she found a used, well-lubricated carrot in your underwear drawer.

may you grow a luxuriant coat of back-hair that reaches all the way up, indistinguishable from your hairline and sideburns, turning you into walking human beard.

well, what i’m trying to say is:

FUCK YOU