chaka chaka

mum and i share the same birthdate. in a way.

X number of years ago on the same day, my life began – my foray into the world of advertising. some may say, with a cynical toss of the head, that i actually commemorate the day my soul died. but i’m feeling optimistic at this moment in time, and we shall leave it at that.

i remember my first brief, for nokia. my idea had smileys and emoticons and people (but perhaps it was a sign of things to come). it never ran. i remember my first headline which went to print, how exciting. it was for a levi’s roadshow. there were some lines which survived the day, gasping their last breaths just before production. i was disappointed, but i soon learned, them’s the breaks.

i met a handful of people i loved, and oodles and buckets and mountains of people i loathed. some stirred up tiny feelings of ambivalence. some i still meet with over beery chats, which i enjoy very much.

there were print ads. tvcs, oh the joy. events. the two whole radio scripts. promos, oh the horror. pitches when i wrote. pitches when i did naught. pitches when i created shitty huge mega-megabyte flash animation files for work which we were never going to get. i despaired much, but i’d like to think i learned something from everyone whose paths i crossed. and hey, i also wrote some lines which i love till today.

obviously, i left. partly because of the money, largely because of something that resembles dirty linen and waving it around in public view, which may be discussed over a cheap nescafe ais, as i’ll never mention it here. are you stupid?

i thought i was geeky enough. too geeky for mainstream, so off to digital i went. and maybe it was a wrong choice, because i missed my tv spots, and my script writing, and my events and activities and even my little point-of-sale materials. who’d have thunk it. but i learned about user experience. wow, a media that spoke to the masses, and in turn reacted, which forced me to anticipate, guess and then second guess it. i felt i wasn’t doing it right. hey, it’s still so new. was anyone really “getting” it? was there really any one way, or two ways, or any way to get it right?

some people think they have all the answer to it. i don’t. if i did, you could smack me silly and call me droga. but hello hello,  i picked up some awards in this medium where i failed to in the other three. not a cannes nor an ad&d or any other show which would have quadrupled my pay and sent hasil groveling at my doorstep, because i’m an underachiever like that. but i’m proud of them and they mean something to me.

it probably wouldn’t to anyone else. if you have stacks of gold and black lego bricks forming a massive igloo around your heads, why bother? if you’ve picked up “best of show” or “golden kancil”, ditto. if you’re too good for this world, turning up your nose at atl people and sneering at me because i have X years experience to your X+Y,  bravo.

new pastures await. as usual, i don’t know if i’m making the right choice. agency A signed me up, agency B just offered. i’ll do what will allow me to sleep at night and hope the carrot is still waiting when i’m ready. is this pasture greener? i’m not so naive to think so. different? that’s all i’m looking for. i plan to add other adjectives myself.

no, i’m not melancholy. not brooding. just observing and stating. feels like i’ve been hiding everything from prying cock stares for so long (it’s not like i mind the judging mind you, i just like controlling what you read, like big brother) and today i sort of felt like sharing.

goodnight.