wow! radio is an awesome medium!

by justine

radio format 1

annoying dick A: oooh, is that the new <client’s product>?

simpering fool B: yes! it is the new <client’s product>!

annoying dick A: wow! does it have <product benefit 1>?

simpering fool B: not only does it have that, it also has <product benefit 2> <product benefit 3> <product benefit 4>!

annoying dick A: i also heard it is now <discounted price> with <current promo>!

simpering fool B: you are right! i’ve already gotten 20 million of these <client’s product> at <discounted price>! what about you?

annoying dick A and simpering fool B burst into fake laughter.

radio format 2

whiny asshole A: oh, i’m so sick of <random dumb fuck problem> happening to me!

smug self righteous prick B: really? you mean you still haven’t discovered <product benefit> of <client’s product>?

whiny asshole A: no, i’ve never heard of <product benefit> of <client’s product>! tell me what is it!

smug self righteous prick B: well, <client’s product> is very efficient at <product benefit> and now it comes with <extra benefit> too!

whiny asshole A: oh! i’m going out to grab <client’s product> now to solve my <random dumb fuck problem> today!

whiny asshole A and smug self righteous prick together: because <product tagline>!

whiny asshole A and smug self righteous prick burst into bout of fake laughter

footnote: in radio commercials there is no such thing as a period. every sentence must end either with an exclamation mark or multiple questions marks. this is mandatory. suffer exclusion on the pain of death.