chaka chaka

from hennessy zouk flyer:

TERMS & CONDITIONS:
This event is BY INVITATION ONLY. Entry with the E-Invite is restricted between 7.30pm - 10.30pm only. Entry is restricted to patrons 23 years and above only and club rules apply. Zouk Club KL reserves the rights to refuse entry.

so, no patrons under 23 and no sunnies, hats, beanies, jerseys. no exception.

unless you’re an attractive female blogger/party-goer.

then you can be 19.

come on la. if you want to be douchebags, still have to play fair.

no round-collar tees

no football jerseys

no hats

no beanies

no sunnies

why don’t you call my mom and ask her what else i like, then you can add it to your list of don’ts. cibai.

daily mail is just a bunch of tosh (to borrow one of their stiff-upper lip phrases.

short hair means women uninterested in sex?

Is short hair a conscious - or unconscious - signal that a woman is not interested in sex? The question was raised this week by sex therapist and former comedienne Pamela Stephenson, who believes ‘deliberately reducing one’s attractiveness’ can sometimes be a way of repelling men’s interest.

i’m so sorry i’m so damn unnatractive and repulsive with my short cuts. i never imagined it was linked to some deep-seated misandry and a general frigid cow-ness. o woe is me, bereft of any charm or beauty and deprived of sexual advances and in dire need of male attention to survive.

commedienne and sex therapist indeed . wtf!

*cue girly high-pitched SCRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAM*

p/s yes, i’m evil too. your point?

yes, it’s all one big joke.

some great story to pass around, innit?

it may be over and done with and fucking hilarious to everyone now, but do any of you, any of you who were involved directly and indirectly, know how much fucking pain you put me through?

yeah, and that’s not enough.

keep it alive till today why don’t you?

FUCK!

another post.

wow.

well, it is the first week. it’s like hanging out at home, but at the office… methinks me lost the plot.

anyway, tragedy befalls those who, well, deserve it. people who don’t suck tend to have close girlfriends who send them random cute, quirky and often meaningless text messages. we awesome people have girlfriends (and some times their boyfriends) who talk about sweet girly things or kinky nasty dirty shit with (while mr. bf goes “lalalalalala” with his hands over his ears).

i have a super shopping companion. who is also my someone to have coffee with, to get smashed with and go for TAG with. to exchange awesome clothing and to chain smoke with.

and now even to mario kart with. yay!

aiyo, pantat face, it sucks to be stuck in prolonged adolescent angst (in your 20s) caused by being a materialistic, self absorbed, holier than thou, rich snob brat, i’m-too-good-for-this-world beeeeeeeyotch.

in other words, it sucks to be you!

this is a fine example of “kids” (don’t get anal on me, i know how old i am) and how the standard of work across industries is suffering thanks to some really superb grade one ego.  if you use random ellipses and imagine the malaysian education system to be any sort of accurate gauge of your queen’s english (case in point: enough classmates scored an ‘A’ for the SPM engrand exam and fucking failed the 1119) and especially think that standardising your english doesn’t matter, then you’re a fucktwat. plain and simple.

then again, there was never any doubt in my mind about the mental instabilities of this wannabe journalist (baby would hurl seeing how any retard today can claim dibbs on the journalist label), seeing as how she once sent me a message about a ‘friend’ and how he “told her the truth about me” *insert psycho bitch statement here* thing is, it was zachary. i mean that was so 20 million years ago and who in their right mind even gives a shit anymore? i guess key words here being “right mind”.

can ms. grammar advise me whether i should tuck my periods in or keep it out? it’s supposedly british vs american, so it doesn’t make a difference says she. might as well drop your u’s as well, you twat!

here’s the full post in all its eye-twitching, knee-jerking glory. i’d say just in case the original post is taken down, but am guessing someone has too much “integrity” for that.

When you first graded my in-class writing I was miffed that you picked on my touchy spot - grammar. As an aspiring journalist, NOBODY…and I mean NOBODY gets away when they pick on my English. In my 11 years of primary and secondary education I never ever got below an A for English so hands off, you grammar mama. But I let it slide because I admit that I could use less words to express myself instead of the lengthy, long-winded way I write. When C complains how senile and forgetful you are, how talkative and boastful of your achievements, I reasoned that you are not as bad as she thinks, just that you’re experienced and mature.I tolerated your long-winded lectures, your constant memory lapses and grammar-correcting ways but you took the cake when you downgraded my Credit to a Pass! 68% to 59%? I was 2 marks away from a Distinction and now I’m a mark away from Credit just because you thought that I should not use American English but I should use British English? There is no difference in meaning with the words “organization” and “organisation”, Ma’am.

Majority of lecturers I know don’t even bat an eyelash when they come across minor “grammar” mistakes like you do. In fact, they don’t even consider it an issue but you make it sound like I wrote lYk DyS in your paper. I have prided my blog as a place for no vulgarities but here’s a big Fuck You!

btw, comments are moderated. fuck you too!

On 12 September, about eight thirty in the evening, I was at my home in Bukit Mertajam, Penang. While enjoying my yew char koay (fried dough stick), I was worried about the show cause letter issued to Sin Chew Daily, and anxious about the days ahead for my newspaper.

Suddenly, a group of plain cloth police officers appeared at my front gate. The person who started to identify the group and the purpose of this visit was a woman officer. She was also the only one in her uniform.

Through the gate, she told me that I have to follow them to the Police station, in response to that I told her that unless they have a warrant of arrest, I will not open the gate. At the same time, I immediately rung up the legal adviser of our company and my direct superior, seeking their advice.

Later, the female officer told me that they are arresting me under Internal Security Act, therefore a warrant is not required. On hearing that, I was immediately was prepared for the worst. (more…)

eh what’s this? i really thought kenny-fucking-sia was a celebrity! kena con sial.

i was always under the impression that the self-sustaining “blogosphere” all luv him. then again, it’s not hard to take offense to dire stupidity.

but kennysia.com has never been a “new media” outlet that catered to anyone with an IQ over 70. why act so surprised now?

even miss super TNB pr rep, pukichooki, takes potshots at him. probably since she’s just “jeles he’s femes”. so much for backing your friends hor, boo? ;p

comment from my ex’s ex’s ex (cheap shot) on puki wasabi’s blog:

Lennonist Says:
August 7th, 2008 at 11:17 am

Tsk tsk tsk…why the hate? They have their own philosophy and you have yours. If everyone were to spout vitriolic just because people are different from them, then the world would be full of rude people who do rude things in cinemas, which is, last I heard, not condoned by the bible.I’m not a big fan of his; he’s a sad fat loser who blogs obviously to get to know hot chicks, but in this matter he never disturbed you. So it is not right for you to attack him for no apparent reason other than subconcious jealousy.

subconcious or glaringly, painfully, embarrassingly apparent?

looking for monkey puns (for work, ok?) and found this instead.

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy.
If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to copyright the rite you write. Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright the right copy they write.
A right wing cleric would write right rite, and has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making the right rite copy right before the copyright can be right.
Should Jim Wright decide to write right rite, then Wright would write right rite, which Wright has the right to copyright. Duplicating that rite would mean you copy Wright’s right rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the right to right.

Right?

it’s ass-pinchingly horrible. reminds me of this copywriter who tried to devise a pun on the designation we both shared. she cooked up “paid plagiarizer” as a painfully witty rendition of “copywriter.”

somebody, hand this woman an award! because as lame as it was, she was quite spot on.