chaka chaka

mum and i share the same birthdate. in a way.

X number of years ago on the same day, my life began – my foray into the world of advertising. some may say, with a cynical toss of the head, that i actually commemorate the day my soul died. but i’m feeling optimistic at this moment in time, and we shall leave it at that.

i remember my first brief, for nokia. my idea had smileys and emoticons and people (but perhaps it was a sign of things to come). it never ran. i remember my first headline which went to print, how exciting. it was for a levi’s roadshow. there were some lines which survived the day, gasping their last breaths just before production. i was disappointed, but i soon learned, them’s the breaks.

i met a handful of people i loved, and oodles and buckets and mountains of people i loathed. some stirred up tiny feelings of ambivalence. some i still meet with over beery chats, which i enjoy very much.

there were print ads. tvcs, oh the joy. events. the two whole radio scripts. promos, oh the horror. pitches when i wrote. pitches when i did naught. pitches when i created shitty huge mega-megabyte flash animation files for work which we were never going to get. i despaired much, but i’d like to think i learned something from everyone whose paths i crossed. and hey, i also wrote some lines which i love till today.

obviously, i left. partly because of the money, largely because of something that resembles dirty linen and waving it around in public view, which may be discussed over a cheap nescafe ais, as i’ll never mention it here. are you stupid?

i thought i was geeky enough. too geeky for mainstream, so off to digital i went. and maybe it was a wrong choice, because i missed my tv spots, and my script writing, and my events and activities and even my little point-of-sale materials. who’d have thunk it. but i learned about user experience. wow, a media that spoke to the masses, and in turn reacted, which forced me to anticipate, guess and then second guess it. i felt i wasn’t doing it right. hey, it’s still so new. was anyone really “getting” it? was there really any one way, or two ways, or any way to get it right?

some people think they have all the answer to it. i don’t. if i did, you could smack me silly and call me droga. but hello hello,  i picked up some awards in this medium where i failed to in the other three. not a cannes nor an ad&d or any other show which would have quadrupled my pay and sent hasil groveling at my doorstep, because i’m an underachiever like that. but i’m proud of them and they mean something to me.

it probably wouldn’t to anyone else. if you have stacks of gold and black lego bricks forming a massive igloo around your heads, why bother? if you’ve picked up “best of show” or “golden kancil”, ditto. if you’re too good for this world, turning up your nose at atl people and sneering at me because i have X years experience to your X+Y,  bravo.

new pastures await. as usual, i don’t know if i’m making the right choice. agency A signed me up, agency B just offered. i’ll do what will allow me to sleep at night and hope the carrot is still waiting when i’m ready. is this pasture greener? i’m not so naive to think so. different? that’s all i’m looking for. i plan to add other adjectives myself.

no, i’m not melancholy. not brooding. just observing and stating. feels like i’ve been hiding everything from prying cock stares for so long (it’s not like i mind the judging mind you, i just like controlling what you read, like big brother) and today i sort of felt like sharing.

goodnight.

years later and i cannot shake the stalkers who are digging for dirt on

“yong may ling”

and there’s a recent addition (from a few months back)

“yc phoon”

as if. you’d have better luck on facebook. or up someone’s ass crack.

p/s i’m helping tag this post to disappoint all future stalkers. dead end, fuckers.

you know how everything just quadruples in annoying factor *KAPOW* once you’re already ticked off?

yeah. work is doing that to me now.

specifically, “senior writers” who have the whole day to gossip and whine with a fucking grating high-pitched keen. i know you’re dying, but could you take two steps in any direction to talk to someone instead of wheezing out their names over and over and over? if they didn’t hear you the first time, they won’t hear you the 34th time either. oh, sorry, forgot you’re the fucking queen of viagra. you know what, fuck you.

“art directors” who need you to hold their hand every step of the way. come in at 11:30, chat on the phone for half an hour, then yum cha, but “soooo busy la” while squealing “TEDDY BUBU I LOVE YOU” while stomping your feet and looking around to get a reaction. ya you know what? no one cares, keep it to yourself.

another fella shouting down the phone “BUSY LA , BRO!” ya maybe you can ask you boss to come in earlier rather than trying to cover up the fact that she has come in at 3-fucking-pm for no good reason. and maybe she can do more than forward emails direct with everyone’s address in it. i might as well contact julian lee from bates141 and get the brief direct. i’ll put big money that julian’s way better (for one he’s never been annoying).

another “account manager” never done deck before. fine. doesn’t read copysheet. “oh i skimmed through and thought it looked right” and “oh where are the titles?” if you aren’t going to do your fucking job, don’t expect me to treat you with any respect.

fucking “project manager” who has the IQ of a snail. no idea of scope, costing, timing. then what? lazy to boot. stop asking people to chase work for you, you stupid cunt. and yes, i know i’m not DYING like some other writers, but i’m busy so fuck off and get a real job. sheesh.

god, i can’t wait to leave this pit of annoyance and incompetence. but then again, i’m such a FUCK FACE™, so good riddance to me too.

my faithful dell laptop is a sputtering, even after a reformat (or three). but i still love it. and no, apple is not going to change my life like it changed yours. yes, it is a macbook, but it is still laptop. they aren’t mutually exclusive.

my room is so neat (disclaimer: for now) it’s like heaven.

eeeh, siapa ni? :D

am writing this from Gilliam IV as the new kid is copying over 400GB of data so i can format my tera HDD. and then, it’s going to be HFS all the way. i’m a bit scared, but not too newbie that i need to log on to apple.com for video tutorials. thank god. amen.

the aunts are were back in town for some super family gathering and there were many generation gap conversations swirling around, causing me to snigger coffee out my nose. random tech-impaired conversations. didn’t know to laugh or cry.

70+ grandaunt: actually, what’s the difference between an iphone and a blackberry?
50+ aunt: no difference wan la. only different brand, that’s all.

so tay says i should be damn proud that my grandaunt doesn’t think blackberry is a kind of jam or cake.

40+ aunt: macbook not nice la. macbook pro better.
me: i don’t really like how the MBP looks though.
40+ aunt: but it’s better! you can do that scroll scroll thingy with your fingers.
me: … you can do that on all macs!
40+ aunt: noway… since when? just recently right?

no la, they can’t really. april fools!

and one really old one for the road.

40+ aunt: i need to get a new camera. i need more megapixels.
me: actually megapixel count doesn’t matter [bla bla bla bla bla]
40+ aunt: but i need it. and i also need a camera that zooms.
me: oh ok. you plan to print? lemme have a look.
aunt’s current camera resolution set to 640×480
me: what. is. this? why you set so low?!
40+ aunt: ohhh… want to post on facebook only la.

yes, i know. technically, they’re not mum. but the FOB theme is still there wut.

Only bad writers think that their work is really good.

- Anne Enright

maybe it is, maybe this is all that’s left cos i’ve retold anything juicy to whoever matters a mere 20 times already. i’m all dry.

please note that the damage for that stash equals approximately RM145 (give or take with the fluctuating exchange rate). jyeeeeeeaah.

so, oh mah gawd.

no way.

did’ya hear?

i’m going to london. for a creative brainstorm.  i’m going to london. flying business freaking class.

two equally desparite sources give two reasons for my good fortune:

i. i’m an all-rounder creative with both digital and above-the-line experience which will be invaluable to working out the kinks that come with creating a truly integrated (media neutral) campaign.

ii. someone else more worthy couldn’t go.

if i were the sort who cared, i’d tear my hair out with the anxiety of under-performing next to the shining brilliance of this First Choice, but bigger problems have reared their ugly heads:

how many cameras to bring? which cameras? what film? how many canisters? will i have time to meet my family? ARGH, shopping for winter clothing! uncle steve reported it’s now 0°C? you must be shitting me! do i stock up on thermal underwear? what if i have a brain freeze (hehe)? can i survive a week without JT?

oh, the tribulations of being a rockstar.

wheeeeee… have fun in your new office! miss you.