i’m currently at my heaviest weight. ever. and it’s a big letdown. about a year ago i shook my fist at the heavens and made a booming declaration that, by god, life would be absolutely fucking perfect if i were but 10 pounds heavier. late suppers (mmmm, salmon pizza and ikan pari) never made any [...]
it is 4:33 in the morning and i can’t sleep. my chest is constricted. taking a deep breath is all but impossible. trying to breathe past the barrier feels like you’re about to snap a rubber band. it is 4:34 in the morning and i can’t lie down. the phlegm in my lungs threatens to [...]
get hands on there’s no use emailing changes to the music house or spending hours circling/marking revisions on a visual and then bitching about it when things still aren’t “perfect.” get your ass down there and camp behind your music engineer or your DI artist. they’ll work faster (since no one dawdles with someone breathing [...]
i’ve done it. and so the countdown begins. 55 days to self-destruction. xxx
i decided on boundaries the moment i locked down on some random domain name under which to host these mou liu posts. not very meaningful ones at that, i’ll be the first to agree. but satisfying to a certain degree. no more real personal posts. sure there can be long rambling emotional outbursts with no [...]
my first smoke in two years was uneventful considering it was exactly the same as the last one. the whiskey didn’t help either. paranoia gushed forth. buckets and buckets of it. i ended up throwing up in front of oreo (who sniffed worriedly at my heels) and passing out almost fully-clothed on a sunday evening. [...]